M. (my beloved Persephone for which this blog is named) lived on her own (with financial support from her dad & I) for about 9 months, then lived with her boyfriend and his family for another 9 months. During the 18 months she lived away from us, we encouraged her to find work and/or enroll in some classes. She found two jobs relatively easy, but the first she lasted a day and the second, a few months.
What I keep in mind when I start myself feeling frustrated with M. is that during this time, she was still in denial about being bi-polar. And, if I’m truthful with myself, so were her father & I. I think when we think of the mental illness “bi-polar” many of us are left to think of Brittney Spears, shaving her head and her rather bizarre, erratic behavior.
That has never really been M.
Rather than lashing out, staying up for hours on end in frantic pace, M. tends to become reclusive, depressive and lethargic. When she is in a “manic” phase, her depression and anxiety kicks in along with insomnia. So imagine being depressed and anxious and not being able to sleep for several days, despite every attempt to do so. She is a classic Bi Polar 2. (The scary stat about this diagnosis is that those who are left untreated are at a higher risk for suicide.)
What do I see now? Now that she’s back on meds (lithium and klonopin), I see a person who is much more optimistic & loving. She is talking to us and is more open with what she’s feeling. She is the girl we used to know.
I’m loving it.